So, what, we are three days into the New Year, and already my goals are out the window.
1. Frosty Forest is still happening. I am caught up with that one and will stitch the remaining blocks when they come out. I am on auto for this for the remaining seven blocks.
2. Shepherd's Bush Fold~had to cancel my auto on this and the order of the shaker box, as my promised bonus by my client did not come through.
3. Calendar Girls~I cancelled my auto on this one as well, although I have already paid for the first pattern and fabric to stitch all of them on one large piece. I signed up for this auto on a complete whim because I am drawn to anything that is a series, but in truth, after signing up, I was not in love with this series. So, why did I sign up I ask myself?
4. Santa's Village~I start stitching the first one two days ago and last night was just not liking it. And definitely not liking trying to manage a 24 by 24 piece of fabric in an 8 by 8 Q-snap. And I have tried so many ways to handle fabric, every scroll rod, stand, Q-snap that has been made. I have the stuff I purchased for this one on Ebay right now, because I can't see just letting it sit, knowing I won't stitch them, and I want to get some money back for what I bought.
So, I sit here on this third day of January and wonder why I do this time and time and time again. Set these big, lofty goals, buy the stuff, and then change my mind within a day or two, or start stitching it and think what in the world have I done?
I vowed to myself this was the year I was going to get my stuff together, mentally, physically, in all aspects of my life. Well, I think it is time to start really being honest with myself. I feel like I am delusional about what I actually like to do and can accomplish stitching-wise. Obviously.
The deeper question is why do I do this? Countless times over the years. Much money spent. Time spent selling the stuff on Ebay I no longer like or giving it away. Why? I have tried research on the Internet to find some answers psychologically as to why I keep doing this, because I don't want to be like this. I love stitching. But I don't love the complete psychosis I feel like I constantly go up against with it. So, how to solve it?
While this ramble seems nuts, I know, I just had to get it all out there and written down.
Do any of you have any insight? Have you ever dealt with this yourself on some level? Any thoughts, comments, input would be greatly appreciated. Even a book recommendation or article recommendation on some reading I could do to get a handle on this.
Until next time...